February 8,2011 Long Time

Now for a while, Ive been under the impression that Ive been doing everything wrong. taking negative feedback and making it my reality. So as i go down the list of my pros and cons on myself; i see that my cons no longer out weigh my pros, is this a sign of maturity and positivity. I just got an epiphany, why didn't i remove myself from the situations that i allowed myself to get scrambled in, well for one i used to blame others for my failure and lack of hope and self-steam to stride for whats right for myself to do better. But what i needed was help with knowing that doing right was possible and correct. I sit and wonder about my future and weather i will have a place to rest my head at night and place i can call "home" its mind boggling and i cant seem to get these thoughts out my mind, they are so horrid. But lets see how i turn out.
Through my journey, having to be an adolescent teen and becoming my own woman i struggle and i can imagine how many other teenagers like myself do to, including adults. We live in a world with such worry and paranoia that its almost impossible to grasp a goodnight of sleep. i try to invision myself in others footprints and i realized the only time i can is when i see the snow on the ground and the footprints created by previous walkers and right then and there i step in someones footprints so i did walk in your steps. And i could imagine your climb but could you try to see mine. When i see a face and start to think what kind of life did you have, was it gruesome like mine, sweet and gentle like i wish my life could have been or just coarse.

college preparation

One ofthe most frustrating weeks that i have to endure. With such angst and depression its extremely difficult and mind bottling. College, it doesnt look like ill be seeing St.Johns University at all and right now I am flabbergasted but i cant see why i cant keep my dreams alive or with hope and some ambition.
In class filling outa FAFSA form to apply for Federal AID and lets see where that takes me, ill keep my fingers crossed and actually pray for the first time in my life for change.

st.johns University

I'M EXCITED

I Wonder

Enigma-

You ever had one of those days where you just sit and all you can do is think?

well welcome here, your not alone. So instead of sitting on my sofa, why not better to write my thoughts. And what more to help me sort out my thoughts than enigma, age of loneliness. I am at peace as of now, indian chants with a rhythm of tranquillity and trance, its all I need its my rescue.

Through life we have ups and downs but its possible for some people to just stay up and others that always stay down. Its sad to say but, could I be one of those people to always stay down and never go up, its not my intension. Although I have so much anger and sadness that infects my thoughts with negativity that makes me refuse to see a brighter side to any situation. I almost feel sorry for myself, but I know i shouldn't, no self pity nor pity from others.

I need to make a change, i don't want it to take an epoch of time either. I miss the courage i used to have and the attitude i used to own. Why fix something that isn't broken, i just need some minor adjustments.

Quotes of the Week

"a lot of fake dudes confuse courage, with being heartless"
"a lot of people think theyre invisible, here's a bullet can you stop it"
"empathy makes a world a cold place, and the sun burns brighter with every smile"

Final weeks

Final Weeks Not
By: Cecilia Dandrades

As looking at my recent post Ive come to realize that the school year has come to an end. so much fun i have had, but so little time its heart breaking i will miss the new friends Ive come to embrace and the journey . so here i sit at this computer thinking about what i should type and realize to just let it flow with honesty.

The laughs Ive had and the smiles I put on peoples faces it almost sounds as if I'm a senior but I am not, I'm just a junior, so who am I kidding, I will make those memories again next year. loving the trouble I caused is my excuse for an adventure, and an adventure is what it was. I did unfortunately, do wrong in my junior year but as a senior I will put all the wrong doing behind me and do right for I make my future in my present. I never had writers block, never ever had an issue of typing so I have decided to make my career based on journalism. Some people don't do whats best for them or what they enjoy but I do, I like to have fun with what I do, if not I see no point. I am many things but what I am not is, clueless. I have a clue, I have common sense but I am lazy, although when I am in front of a keyboard I cant help but to pound on the keys and type away on what ever topic is presented before me. I am a writer with ambitions, I am dancer with strive and I am a person with choice.
When you look at life what do you see? I see variety I see diversity. There is always room for change and for improvement, why not make a difference. For all the great speeches and stories in life written on paper. writing offers a sense of privacy and confidence, I write because it gives me both, and so much more for I feel after I finish a story that seems great to me that i am on a cliff feeling the soft gentle breeze kiss my cheeks and soon to whisk me off into a sanctuary of secrecy. Just the sense of completion makes me feel this way. This on the embark of a new journey through my tall tale that wont end.

Quote of the Day

"Death is something that can no one heal, but love is something no one can steal"